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Is Scots juist a baur?

Posted by: Iain Mcgregor

01 Jul 09 - 04:12

A taen a phone message the ither nicht fae a eild schuil freen whae wintit iz tae gie a haund wi a Burn’s Sipper, tae a pairtie o towerists in heez hottle. It didnae sit richt daen sic ceelebrations in the mids o Juin, bit Charlie coud aye perswad fowk tae dae ocht e wintit. It wis juist heez wey, an it wis a free nicht oot for masel an the guidwife. A nivver fun oot whaur yon pairtie cam fae, bit thair vices wur a mixture-maxture o fowk fae aw furrin countraes, kenspeckle Inglis wi a teenge o the Irish an lood lik the yanks, an this afore thay got fou o the whuskie.

Oniewey A makkit masel ready wi the kilt an tweed jaicket an leukit faisible, bit the jaicket ye ken wis leukin poukit an scuft aboot the elbaes. Nae maitter, A wis askit tae address the haggis in the uswal wey, an thin tae scrift To a Mouse an Tam O’ Shanter. Weel the sipper stertit aff a bittie dour wi the fowk nae richt share o aetin champit neeps an haggis fae a ewe’s painch, bit bi the time A wis hauf-wey throu Kirk-Alloway an the whuskie hid taen haud, the speerits ye micht say taen ower an awb’dy wis rinin aboot glaikit lik, hoochin an gollerin tryin tae eemitate the wutchies. Yin efter tither thay wad reel aff wirds sic is “a loose moose aboot the hoose” an “haud on the noo Jock” an “lang may yer lum reek” Thin thay gaed intae kinks o the geegles lik a waller o eegits.

Whit dae furrin fowk mak o the Scots leid? Is it juist a baur, an a easy wey tae tak a rag-oot o uz hamel Scots, or coud it be a freendlie wey o sayin thay wint tae be pairt o oor culture – for twa-three oors oniewey. Oor mibbie ower quick tae thole aw this freevolous daffin, is it pits on a face thit says oo excaise it oorsels, whan in the hinnerend oo tak it lik stookies an girn efter. Whaurs it aw gaun? Eild dugs dinnae lairn new tricks, sae oo hae tae eddicate the bairns, the Scottish wey, an mak the politeecians it Holyrood be prood o bein Scots. Thay’ve haed ten year tae mak a stert!

Guid tae sei ye back bloggin agane Duncan. Wasabi micht be “green Japanese Redcoll bree”, oniewey its braw wi the Sushi. Onie guid wi het haggis?
Ta—ta the noo, A’m awa tae hae a bilt clabbydhu piece. Be back suin wi mair girns!